mirishikiari

I'm currently having a hard time. Not the moreover point that I have exams. I'm over with that. I'm having a harder time. A harder time trying. Trying to be someone who I want to be rather than someone who I really am. I hate who I really am. You don't know how much I do. It sounds horrible. Not the fact that I hate myself. The fact that I'm trying to be someone I'm not. Isn't that what no one wants me to be? Isn't that what I don't want to be? I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. Not about me, not about my emotion, thoughts, life, goal, not even my own dignity. I know nothing at all. I'm trying to remove all this obsession a

One day, I said to myself, they'll notice me. They'll know I exist. They'll know who I am. They'll know my name. They'll know who I am. Who I am inside. They'll know one day. They will. "You can do it!" doesn't do anything to me. Those first words motivate me more than ever. Makes me want to continue my life. Makes my life interesting to me like a story book. I'm the writer, God's the editor. I don't inspire myself by saying that I can do it, or that I'm better than this, my motivation sounds more like I'm really obstinate and selfish. Whatever, it still makes me want to continue my life and if it can do that, then I don't see what's the

Keep smiling. That's what they say. But doesn't that just show that you're trying to be something you're not? Being happy when you're down... Being optimistic when you feel drastic... Isn't that also what they said not to do? Not to be someone you're not? Keep smiling, the tears will go. Yeah right, how will that help? People always tell us to smile. Well, mostly to me it's annoying. But yet I do it, to hide the pain. Yet it makes it worse. And people think it's okay. Is it really? It seems like it's all lies to me. We can't trust phrases anymore. I can't trust them, that's for sure. tell me the truth. the way to be happy.